bright weather and gloomy thoughts

I don’t have much progress to report on my sewing but I thought I had to post something anyway. When I started blogging again I intended to write about glimpses of my everyday life as well as my adventures in quilting and knitting. I’m still struggling with posting regularly but I think I’m improving! Lack of motivation is a huge problem for me in my private life and you can imagine what effects this has on my PhD. I don’t know if I mentioned it before but I started teaching a course at my college this year and since it was a first for me I haven’t had any much time and drive to start researching for my thesis. This sucks big time and I have been agonizing about this for weeks now. I’m not really sure anymore if I’m cut out for a doctorate. I mean, sure the topic is really interesting and  I like the college atmosphere and whole days working in the library (if I had the time) but I have very little ambition. Fact is if I’m going to continue working at college I’m going to need my PhD. I just don’t know if I’ll have the staying power for this…

I don’t know, things look a bit gloomy lately. After years of living alone and being ok with it I’m feeling more isolated again. A lot of friends have moved away in the last two years and I had a falling out with another one and as a result I’m spending a lot of my spare time alone. I’ve never been one for the big crowds  and that’s not what I’m missing but apart from two friends next town I have no social contacts here anymore. You know, someone to just meet for a coffee or cinema. Maybe I should join a club or a choir or something like that…

Some days I’m almost reluctant to leave the house and than that gnaws on my concience because I know I should go out and DO something…

Anyway, sorry for my whining but I had to let this out I think.  I’ll stop now. Hopefully I’m back in a few days with some happier thoughts to share! (and some progress on my quilt)


2 thoughts on “bright weather and gloomy thoughts

  1. Kieny 25. June 2008 / 4:13 am

    Hope you feel better soon. Maybe some sewing or quilting will help?

  2. Teresa 30. June 2008 / 9:34 pm

    I know working on your thesis can be stressful and exhausting and I have heard others express similar disdain for the process that you seem to be in now. Take heart and keep plodding through – it will be so worth it when someone calls you Dr.!

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